Valora la communicacion

I did my first real class-speaking in Spanish today! I had to do a presentation in Human Ecology on the article we read for class today and summarize and everything for the rest of the class. I was ridiculously nervous, not because of the article itself but because of the whole ‘presenting in Spanish to Spanish speakers’ part. The article covered the anthropology and study of environmentalism and ecological anthropology, both things I am knowledgeable about and could discuss for hours on end.
In the end, I pulled it off, more or less. I’m not sure how clear I was with my ideas, but it got across somehow. If you know me at all, you’ll know that I’m a bit disorganized with my thoughts (mildly… hehe) in English, so I’m not sure at all how I sounded in Spanish, but whatever, I think it worked more or less.
I was talking to Tor today about the frustration about transmitting ideas and the incredible amount of frustration we encounter when we want to express an idea, but are simply held back by the language barrier. In my Human Ecology class, we’re talking about things I’ve studied before in my awesome Religion and Environmental Ethics class and tons of other settings as well. I could discuss each of these topics for HOURS on end, but am reduced to about a 4th grade level of language and I’m sure it sounds like my intelligence goes with it. It’s frustrating to know that I am an intelligent being but simply don’t have the means to express my thoughts. It’s also humbling to really appreciate my native language and the freedom that language gives you. To be completely understood and to be able to use exactly the word I want is so liberating, I never knew I could feel this way about language.
I would love to strike up a conversation with some of the Ecuadorians in my Human Ecology class about environmentalism and sustainability and the differences between Ecuador and the United States, but also the similarities, especially with other tropical places like Hawaii. However, I am incredibly intimidated by them (for more than just the language reason) and feel like having such a philosophical discussion like that is far beyond my ability. For instance I tried to summarize “ecofeminism” in a few words during my presentation today and that in itself was difficult. This is the same topic that I have literally had very extended discussions about, but just trying to say one simple sentence about it was a struggle for me.
On the other hand, to be able to communicate in Spanish is incredibly rewarding for me. To have discussions and conversations with my madre and other peoples’ familias is so rewarding for me. I love the ease with which I can converse with my madre most days and how I can understand my professors and everything. I feel like it has opened up so many doors for me (both literal and figurative as I had to ask someone on my street to unlock the gate for me the other day….) and I love being able to access this whole other world I couldn’t before.
As I’m learning daily, language is an amazing gift and those who study it and control it have an incredible amount of power and opportunity. Communication is one of the main aspects of culture, as I’ve learned, to be without it is incredibly difficult, and when you have access to it, it is just a freeing and… I don’t even know how to explain it, but it’s so rewarding and liberating in terms of personal power and independence.